Tuesday, September 19, 2006
last nite, i suddenly tod of smth tt made me veryyyy angry. zzzu, got angry with me over that matter. and i, was frigging DUMB enuff to apologize. at first i was seriously sry so i decided to apologize. den u told me i always only noe hw to say sry. many times its not even my fault but i jus apologize. just becoz i dun wan to lose a fren lik u. so now, if u ever read this, u'll go arnd tellin others tt i made u angry and i still dare to say its not even my fault. yeah, go ahead then. u tink i care anymore ? noooo. even then i mus admit we had our fun times tgt too. but right nw, i can only say i had no backbone. i depended on u too much. i tod we'll stay frens 4eva. so many times i said sry jus for u to get angry with me over another petty matter. haizz, its all my fault rite. my own bloody fault.
at tt time, so many ppl were askin me why i still wan to be ur fren. i had no ans to tt. in the end i tried hangin out with other grps of ppl. but in the end, AFTER i apologize, we'll still be frens again. can u try to reflect ? all this time, hav u ever said a word of sorry to me ? tink back long and hard. seriously i can tell u. you never did.
i treated u like a real close fren. or else i would nv hav apologized. would nv hav returned as ur fren again and again, even though ppl were askin me not to. and wad u treated me as ? nothing, i was nothin to you. each time we quarrelled, i'll find tt the rest of them would start avoidin me too. what was it u wanted ? u wanted control. u wanted to be popular, be influential. u won, fair and square. all this ppl WORSHIPPED u. of coz they did. they listened to everything u said.
there is one thing i noe for sure. if THEY still wanted to be ur fren, they're not supposed to talk to me at all. u'll definitely get angry wit the person who talked to me, and ignore the person too. why am i so sure? coz there's once before mornin assembly, i went to talk to the grp of ppl u treated as ur enemies. and in the end coz of this u gav me a black face and ignored me. when i asked u wad did i do wrong again, u said,' u noe i dun lik them, y did u go talk to them ?.'
WTF, so jus becoz im ur fren, and becoz u hate them so i hav to hate them too ? u controllin my circle of frens now ? see the link ? someone who wants to remain ur fren, mus not talk to ur enemies. let me tell u smth. wad i tink, is that u are very insecure. u are scared tt ur frens would leave u. tts why u were so protective of them, too protective. u were scared they would leave u, so u turned them against me. im sure many ppl would disagree with wad i say. coz of u, they'll always think im in the wrong.
not long ago, someone who sided wit u, came to ask me why me and u still not talkin to each other after so long. so i jus told her tt ive already apologized(doesnt matter if im at fault or not), but u still wun talk to me. and if u still dun wan to accept my apology, den i hav nth to say. im no the petty one here. u made ur choice, i'll jus accept it.
and if one day u decide to talk to me again, im alrite wit it. if not, i dun give a damn.