Wednesday, April 28, 2010
the contradiction of wanting to know,
yet not wanting to carry the burden of knowing.
i dont know what to do.
dont mind being strong for others to depend on,
in fact i want people to rely on me,
but for now,
im just tired.
can someone be my strength till i get mine back?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
walked past her room today.
they've taken down her room plate.
to see it gone, make me feel so....down.
so....what's after life?
nothing?
Monday, April 19, 2010
i still remember her teaching us fluid mechanics, about mach numbers, and lots of other very aerodynamical stuffs. though we didn't have a whole semester of lessons under her, but from the way she talked, the way she carried herself, you could tell that she was a very nice woman, always looking very happy. though whatever she taught me, i had a hard time understanding (just like every other lessons i go to =x), but i liked her. she was nice, IS nice.
when i first heard that she had passed away, there was this sense of disbelief. how can it be!!, when i saw her just a week before, looking exactly like she always did, and she even gave us a brief smile as we walked past her. it was just hard to phantom...then the uni sent us an email confirming it. it was hard to take, how can someone so nice and young be gone just like that? even though i wasn't close to her or anything, but it was still sad to know she's gone.
went for her funeral service today..and even though i felt so out of place (only saw 2 or 3 others that looked like students), i'm very glad i went. it was beautiful, to say the least, to hear her sisters talk about her, and read bible passages and poems aloud, trying at the same to control their emotions. it was also nice to hear from her niece, who was staying with her at her house, talk about the life she led, about the kind of person she was. but the most heartwrenching part was hearing her daughter speak. i was too far back to see her, but apparently she's quite young, prolly below d age of 10 or thereabouts. she said a simple, 'I just wanted to say that she was the best mother anyone could have.', and that was enough to break hearts. many started tearing, and i had to do all i could to stop myself from doing the same. it was sad, it was heartbreaking, but beneath it all, it was sweet.
when i first received the email about her passing away unexpectedly, i was very curious about what had happened, and i got to know the answer at the service..and other stuffs too, but i will not be disclosing it out of respect of her and her family.
a passage from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 in the Bible was read during the service, and it says:
1 For everything there is an appointed time, and an appropriate time for every activity on earth:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot what was planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to search, and a time to give something up as lost; a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7 A time to rip, and a time to sew; a time to keep silent, a time to speak.
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
i will never forget you,
Dr Philippa O'Neill.
r.i.p.