Thursday, February 22, 2007
i tink its d exams..coz tt bout of depression is comin back again..
i feel inferior compared to everyone else..
lik everyone's doin everythin rite,
while im d only one doin everythin wrong..
n YOU are making me feel worse..
ur reaction's been lukewarm this few days..
are u gettin bored of me? are you are you are you?
or mebbe i did smth wrong again..
ahhh i jus wish i wasnt born..
im feelin depressed, it MUST be d exams. =/
*deres more freedom in a prison. one more time, n i wun gif anybody any face anymore. its either we move, or if ull rather stay on, den i'll move*
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
hoho..happy happy new yr..(gt angbao of coz happy rite =p )..loll..first day of cny..mornin woke up at 11.30, tok kong hor me..new yr ppl early wake up get angbao i still slp till so late..rofl..n i hate them, ta pai new yr cfm mus come spoil mood one, but lucky i wasnt born into their family..-_- bu guan wo de shi, n i also dun wan to care..anyway, wake up bathe le den gen tt old woman n xiao gu bai nian, but da gu haven come, den mama cook finish everythin at arnd 1+, so ate d day's 1st meal at woodlands n collect a few angbaos from those ppl le den 2pm daddy came to pick me up n we went over to ah ma's place. he asked me y so late den wan go over, i also duno wad to say, jus anyhw mumble mumble abit =xreached ah ma's place, abit awkward, coz everytime gt go over is sat go over, but gu gu they all sun go over de..so almost 1 whole yr nv see them, lik become stranger lidat..but still, better than stayin at home. loll ate d day's 2nd meal at ang mo kio, steamboat at ah ma's hse, wit lots of abalone!!! ah ma tis yr very rich, kp openin abalone, specially for me k!! den gu gu they all jealous say y when i come she kp askin me wan somemore abalone nt but nv ask them.. haha but they only jk de la.. they nt so xiao qi one..lol. den eat le, we all went over to 2nd aunty de hse play cards, play till we kp laughin. n my 4th aunty kp winnin, den we kp sayin she play cheat, use black magic all tt, in d end she won almost 100+++ bucks, n i won only 17 bucks, but at least still gt win! ahaa..n tis yr de biggest angbao came from my ah ma, i tink. coz take all d angbao den mix tgt, also forget who gif which one, but from i born till nw d BIGGEST angbao will always be she gif one..loll..so nice hor..=p den ah gong nt at home, but he gt ask ah ma pass me his angbao. den 6+ wan leave tt time she called him n she said in hokkien,' u gamble still dun wan come back ar!! later tonite come complain sit till backside pain again!' walao..laugh till we all peng can..cute sia, bth..lolll
den from ah ma hse, arnd 6+ went over to sengkang, for d day's 3rd meal at my uncle's place, coz nw ah gong stayin dere for d time bein, so nv go back seletar. tis yr no angbao from ah gong! but also nvm la, if he gif i tink i will take le, den ask mama gif him back. loll. n ah ma even more pro, sat nite already gif me le!! wahh, fast sia she..rofl so kan chiong to gif ang bao, only new yr eve jiu gif le..rofll..
den 2nd day of cny, din go out bai nian eh, which means alot of angbao nv take! rofl..went over to uncle's place to help look after ah gong, n i helped to cook dinner!! hohoho, nv poison anyone k..loll =p den cook le, we all went down play bBall wit ah gong, den went up for dinner, den arnd 11+ go home!! hoho, duno hw many mths nv reached home b4 10.30 le siaa..but reach home early also no use, i end up also arnd 4+ den slp. =x..rofll..mebbe is becoz too late reach home le, den too many things to play..so late late den slp 0.o LOLL..
tdy!!!! went back to seletar to help chop n saw tree n clear up d whole hse, end up everyone also gt bitten by red ants. lolll. d uncle gt bitten on d feet n he quickly threw off his shoes, so i told him, if d ants go into ur pants, u dun quickly take off ur pants k!!! LOL.. wahh d hse so long nobody stay le, but so dirty n dusty la, n whole day only cleared behind d garden there de branches n leaves, d hse inside also haven clean. zzz tired sia.. loll.. N...................i goin slpp le!! rofll..nites everybody, happy chinese pig yr again!!
*hoho, overall n individual record broken!! =D*
Friday, February 02, 2007
been tinkin of smth all tis while....is it really hard to make urself hate someone.. esp. someone impt? it has taken me more than a year, n i still cant do it.. m i tt useless? even nw when i feel so abandoned, i still cant do it.. ARGHHHH..ytd i posted a qns to some ppl, lets say u have a close fren..n slowly u realise theres someone who comes along, talkin, smsin, joking wit ur close fren..n u dunno what they're talkin abt at all.. hw wud u feel?? at least nw i noe im nt d only one who will feel d way ive been feelin all tis time.. n i cant help bein upset or cryin whenever i tink abt it.. is frenship really lik glass? lik no matter wad u do, its definitely bound to break some day?..its jus a matter of when isnt it.. n moreover, nobody can control who someone wans to befriend..
last nite many things were goin thru my mind..1) pretend i dun care n dun mind, jus walk away whenever im upset.. 2) try my best to get things back to d way they were before.. 3) or jus accept d fact tt im nt that needed anymore, let them be while i slowly distance myself? duno la....='(
why mus smth lik tis happen? if im d one who cant get someone else smth they wan d most, den...i shudnt get upset when someone else can...right? hatin u, is hard..hatin myself, easy...
*i hope u'll understand hw i feel =(*