Wednesday, October 03, 2007
am i thinkin too much again?
i want to think i am, but i guess im not.
this few weeks, ive begun to feel the pressure.
not from only 1 party, but from all sides.
maybe if he didnt say it,
or didnt say it THAT way,
i wouldnt have started thinkin abt it.
zz what a mess =(
i know im not perfect,
& i do make mistakes.
but nowadays, every step i take,
is lik takin a step closer to a pit.
every thing i do just seems to be wrong.
and soon enough,
i'll be all alone in the pit, isolated, abandoned.
i dont want that to happen.
but somehow i dont even know what to do right now.
jus wonderin arnd aimlessly hopin for some answers.
do this, that not happy.
do that, this not happy.
arghhhh...
i know i tend to cling very tightly, even smtimes, blindly
to stuffs impt to me,
& tts only because i noe the feelin of losin smth impt.
but smtimes no matter what you do,
you still end up losin it smhow =/
i wish i cud unload everythin trapped
in my mind n heart onto someone.
but i cant seem to trust like i once did anymore.
except for some who know who they are.
blame the one who walked out
even after given so many chances.
i just wish it was smone else,
& maybe things wud hav been different.
zzz
pressure.
pressure.
im dyin, im dyin, i beg u, pls stop it.
give me sm space to walk, sm room to breathe.
coz the things im doin, im not doin it coz i wan to.
its true, i have a choice.
but sm things i do, i can nv explain it myself.
i know i cud walk away,
but truth is, i cant.
im so sorry,
im so sorry.
='((