Thursday, February 28, 2008


22.02.08

wish to say no more.
some things,
may be harmless,
yet can feel so cruel at times.

:: 11.07 pm ::

i fear.
not because of what will happen,
but because of what has happened before,
and the impacts it would bring again
this time round.
its no much different from being dead.

Friday, February 22, 2008


quoted;
i didn’t noe back den,
that believing is really a battle.
i didn't noe back den,
that even though there isn't a day that doesn't break,
if you don't wake up,
the morning nv comes.
& even if ure awake,
there are nights that never break.

*if only something could describe the pain*



Thursday, February 21, 2008


this week has been eventful..
too eventful to be exact..LOL


final presentation was on monday..
i dont think i did badly,
but i dont think i did very well also.
nvm! the most important thing is,
ITS OVER!!!
but if school's over,
it also means we're all gonna get separated again.
& we'll all drift apart.....somehow..
i dont want that =(
hope no one forgets me too =S

anyway, made a trip with yi back to ITS ytd,
for our interview...
nth much really..just ask a few qnss regarding pay..
then hear him talk abt we being the frontline people
for the 3rd time since my attachment..
LOL it was funny seriously..
and we more or less already got the job,
pending a medical which is going to happen.............
smtime next wk..
*worries*

he initially wanted us to start on the 1st (mar)..
but we requested for d 17th n he agreed..
so yeahh..WORK!!!
dont know which team he will throw me into yet..
but i hope its back to eve's team..
though i think d poss of that happening is pretty slim
with the reshuffling of teams and everything.
i wonder who r the ones nyp will send to ITS for their attachment.
im hoping its someone i know!!
wakaka..


poor jessie....
no holidays for u..
tsktsk..
but nonetheless, happy workin!!! LOL
see u sometime at OASIS =D

on to another topic....
yesterday, i was typing a sms..
asking what's the occupation n company name..
look at how much a failure i am,
not even knowing the occupation..zzzz

*guilty*
& sudd i realised i had unknowingly
started the sms with smth i havent type in almost 3 years..
kinda gave myself a shock..
=S


i hope there wont be any repeat of last night's events..
seriously im too ********* for my own good -.-
i gave my reasons,
and whether to accept them,
its for you to decide..
blame me scold me if you want,
maybe i do deserve it.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


im at a complete loss, seriously.

i dont know what to do next.
i dont know what i should say.
i know its partly my fault too.
shouldnt have assumed it was all just a joke.

cant seem to stop right now.
i feel like i always seem to let people down.
is it true?
am i that bad?
but i didnt do it on purpose.
really didnt.
i didnt know it would turn out this way too.

im sorry, really very sorry.
='((
*heavy head, heavy heart*

Monday, February 18, 2008


final presentation is finally over!
but somehow it doesnt feel any special.
its just like every other day.
maybe its becoz of the lack of exams.
makes it feel like we already graduated
from school ever since the last semester.

planned to hang out till very late 2mr nite.
but interview's early in the morning the next.
irritating.
i dont want to start work so soon.
hopefully can start april??

at least it'll be after my **.
if im going for it that is.
dont even know the exact date yet.
dont even know the chances of success.
dont even know what MAY happen before that.
dont even know what will happen after that.
its quite scary to feel that lack of control of everything.
everything's just me, & i have to face it myself.

loads of crap that has been on my mind for so long.
surrounded by people and friends,
but somehow it still feels...............
lonely.

maybe today was a mistake.
seeing you,
i realise nothing has changed.
*happy=))*


Friday, February 15, 2008


crashing........

2 days of no sleep.

i dont know why i worry that much.
should i in the first place?

helpppp...someone...anyone.....

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


happy chinese new year!
i'm sending my regards from batam..
hoho..

i'm surprised there's even wireless here,
but of course i'm connecting to it illegally
through my laptop....
imagine bringing laptop on a holiday to do my ppt.
-.- -.- -.- what a new year..
so yupp..

the signal strength's very low,
so i may get disconnected anytime,
and the speed's damn slow...
but hey,
i'm not complaining....
at LEAST there is still internet.. @.@

gotta go...
happy new year once again!! =)

Monday, February 04, 2008


they say time heals.
i say,
not for everything,
not everytime.

not when every small stuff
reminds you of everything.

not when your right to see anyone anyday anytime you want,
is restricted by dumb papers.

not when you see people you wanna put to shame,
but cant cause your mum doesnt allow you to.

not when everytime you see a particular word,
it reminds you of how it makes you feel like youre
just another non-living object.

not when somebody makes a bad choice,
but youre made to shoulder the consequences.

not when something is so near, yet so far.

feel my frustration.
everything sucks.
everything really sucks.

& im stuck in shit i didnt sign up for.


words

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