Saturday, April 11, 2009
i will be the first to admit i have a general dislike for her.
not hate, just general dislike.
it was the way she acted..
her behaviour..
the way she didnt accept us as family.
the pair of staring eyes,
always staring at you and what you do,
the wanting to know everything.
thats why we go out of our way to avoid her.
heck, she has made things so difficult
that even her son tries to avoid her.
there were numerous times when she would just stand in the corridor,
staring at their door,
maybe just hoping to catch a glimpse of them.
but still....
that door will never open.
not when they know she's out there.
how do i know?
cause i'll be staring out of the gap in my door.
its times like this when i can look at her without her knowing,
that i feel this sense of....
i dont know..
pity? compassion?
and i feel like just telling her to go to bed.
but then,
i would close my door softly again.
close the door to things i would rather not see,
to feelings i rather not feel.
yes, as much as i do dislike her,
as much as we have no blood relation,
as much as she doesn't accept us,
i do feel sorry for her,
i do still have a heart.
i'm just wondering,
if she's really gone,
how would i feel?
what am i supposed to feel?
even though it doesnt seem good,
but still.....
get well soon.