Monday, August 30, 2010
the more i read,
the more i study,
the more i realise how much more thing i do not know,
or weren't even aware of.
and then i read up more,
and realised, HEY, i still don't have a clear idea on what's happening.
and i'm not even talking about the very theory stuff like Newton's law
or whatever principles in engineering.
it's more like the production based side, like the different processes
used in chemical engineering, practical stuff that actually means
or is useful in real life. things that can be seen and felt.
it makes me realise..
OH SHIT,
i'm so going to fail in my profession.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
he finally said it.
because he had no choice but to say it.
so what now?
did i ever thought it would make me feel better?
am i supposed to feel better?
do i feel better?
everything's still stays the way it is.
saying it doesn't change the years of the past.
so what was i expecting?
a sense of relief?
for the weight to roll off my shoulders?
i kidded myself into thinking i've picked up my life.
i thought i really did,
but i didn't account for the bumps,
and here i still am, on that rocky road called recovery.
all along, i've been crawling,
and i know it's time to get up, to walk, to run.
but its hard,
it's hard.
putting on a smile,
it's became second nature,
even through the tears.
and you know you've gotten used to it all,
when you feel your cheeks getting wet,
but then you ask yourself......
am i crying?
i'm sorry
i'm sorry i couldn't do anything
i'm sorry..
for me, just being ordinary me.