Friday, January 21, 2011
today, a memorial service for Graham was held at Subi Church. I had the opportunity to watch the proceedings online via live streaming. It was a time for reflection, a time for people close to him to tell others of all the great things that Graham had done in his short time on earth. It was moving, it was sad, but most of all, i felt it was motivational and encouraging. As his brother Ben said, he lived life to the fullest, and wanted to excel at everything he ever did. They spoke about his fighting spirit, ranging from sports, card games, board games, from the day he was diagnosed till the day God called him home, he never gave up fighting.
At the end of the proceedings, as they wheeled the casket out of the door, this heartwrenching thought flashed across my mind: this will be the last, final time Graham will be 'walking' out of the doors of the church he spent nearly half his life at, the church he loved ever so much.
But then immediately, another thought interrupted: no, that's wrong. the casket they wheeled out no longer contained Graham, it was only a empty shell. Graham is with the Lord, the Lord resides in the church, and thus, Graham will always be there with us, in our hearts. He has never left, he will never leave, he will always live on inside of us.
It is now time for us to remember who he was, and what he did, and tell those things to the ones who never got to meet him, but who will, one day in Heaven.
till then..
goodbye and see you again, Graham.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
from the very first day, i've never gotten the feeling that your heart was really in it. haha and it's not your fault seriously..
i will never try to be someone i'm not, and if you're using past experiences to compare me with, i will tell you straight i will never pass your test, nor will i ever want to.
haha, its been such an irony, and time and situation sure has a strange method of playing with people.
i thought finally everything had been set right. not.......really...
maybe one day i'll make it, maybe i won't.
but it doesn't matter does it.
till then..
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
every week when i receive the email bulletin on email, i always open the email with apprehension, thinking what news will it bring this week, and every time when i see one with Graham's name, i just sort of tense up, not knowing what to expect, wanting to hear good news, and every time, that's what it is, good news.
few weeks back, Pastor Mike sent out an email saying Graham was not very well, that there was fluid in his lungs and he was in the hospital and everything, but after a few days, was better and discharged. felt relieved that he was feeling better.
then...today...when i opened my email, again i saw Graham's name on the subject title, and my heart started beating faster once again. i was thinking 'pls let it be good, pls let it be good' as i clicked on the email.
but this time, it was not to be. it said that Graham had went to be with the Lord last night. I can't say i know Graham very well personally, and i dont usually go around initiating conversation with people, but Graham, after all, was our Senior Pastor and i can say that he's a great, charismatic guy, confident, passionate about Christ, and his sermons were never boring. its just the opposite.
I remember there was once i was reading the noticeboards after service and he was standing at the door greeting people, and most people would just ignore somebody like me standing there reading something, but no, he came over, smiled and actually chatted with me. That was a heartwarming experience, having the Senior Pastor personally talking to me, and it showed how nice and down-to-earth a guy he was.
his mesothelioma diagnosis shocked us all when it was announced last year in June because he looked so healthy before we knew better. it was very encouraging to experience his optimistic outlook, high spirits, and absolute faith in God throughout the whole ordeal, but now, he is finally pain free.
As we look back, we will remember Graham, and all he has done for us, for Subi Church, and most of all, for God. I'm sure Graham is smiling right now, at being able to meet his Creator face to face, pain-free and worry-free. I pray for Tracy, Paige and Carson, that they will be able to find love, strength, and comfort in this time of sadness, from their loved ones and from the people around them. There will be a day when we will all be united in one Kingdom again.
As 2 Timothy, Chapter 4, Verse 7 says: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
R.I.P Graham.
Friday, January 14, 2011
why is it that when i have what i want, it feels like im just holding an empty shell?things have changed & maybe i should have left it as it was instead.
whats the point of it all, im just making myself miserable.
dumbass me -.-