Thursday, February 03, 2011
since i have been able to accept her, i hope that the rest will be able to, no matter how much they dont like the way things are now..even i dont really want this, but at this moment in my life, im willing to embrace it, and maybe, i already have.
no matter how much we all wish things could go back to how it was, but since its not to be, then i pray that they will welcome her with open arms too..seeing that she doesnt speak fluent english, its hard to communicate somehow but i just wish they will not ostracise her..or dislike her for the things she has done..though i was angry that time too, but at the end of the day, a choice has been made, and she's already part of the family.
if i (the one who should be against it the most) am able to accept her, and sympathize with her, i dont see why the others cant do the same. all that i want is for everyone to be happy, and not bear grievances over past matters, and just embrace the future.
at the very basic, this is my own family we're talking about, and all i really want is for everyone to be happy and get along well.
i dont know why, but everytime i see her, i feel....kinda sad..n..pity that she has to step into somebody else's shoes. and a real pity that those shoes are really really big, and really hard to match up to the standard that has been set. the bar has been set high, and im not entirely sure she can even do half of wad has already been done.
maybe its with this feeling that i can empathize with her. maybe i have to make the first step to connect with her, so that the others can see that im alright with it, that they will too, feel easy with her. i know that i will never address her, but as friends? im cool with that.
i really hate this half here half there situation where i have to think of the balance of harmony on both sides. why cant we all move on and be happy???
WHY is it me that has to bear this burden?!!?